we have pet lesbian snakes
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
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