just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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