I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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