This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
