Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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