He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
