I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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