It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
