I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
