I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
