I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
