Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize