dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
