Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
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