Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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