your parents love me but you hate me
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize