Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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