Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
