just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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