You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I will pee on everything he values.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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