Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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