Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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