i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
