OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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