party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
