Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
