If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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