We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
