How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
