Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
