no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
