Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
