Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
