you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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