Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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