i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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