and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
