What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
His hands were made for my vagina.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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