Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
