I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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