its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
