I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
