me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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