She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
