I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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