Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Randomize
