Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
