You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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