if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Randomize
