i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
