He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize
