they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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