So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just had sex on a roof
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
